In Which There Is Self-Talk and Book Ramblins

For me, writing is not particularly hard.

Overcoming the feeling of “nothing I could ever do could possibly matter,” that's the hard part.

I have been sitting on two nearly finished drafts (edits/polishing is all that's needed) for months. Books two and three of Rivermist are fermenting on this flash drive that overheats frighteningly fast in my netbook. And I need to come up with cover art for both of them. I have no idea what I want to do for the second book, but I think it would be good to have someone with their back toward the viewer, facing this white block (it's an attunement hub in the stories) where people come and lay their hands upon it and through it you can really do whatever you direct your mind to. Relive your memories, become attuned to the cosmos, tune yourself to the goddess/light/Laki, whathaveyou.

For book 3, I am thinking, since it covers two lifetimes, having the characters' faces split between current and past self, but that would get complicated and ruin plot points sooooo... maybe not. I think I see it in my mind though. Just have Caida/Salm in the middle and have Christopher with Caida and Zhetmar with Salm. Problem solved! Except it's really, really hard to draw people the way I want them to look. It really is. Sorry for all the self-talk.

Also, I am in the midst of this many year long existential crisis. Okay, it's probably a lifelong kind of thing, really, which means I should basically know how to cope by now. But really. I feel like I don't know how to do anything, which means I have to learn things and I'm not sure I'd be getting good information.

I'm thinking of running a visual promo. Instead of being all “HEY Y'ALL READ MY STUFF LOL HERE'S LINKS” making images with quotes. Starborn is rife with quotable quotes. Cynosure? Mmm... maybe the first line. But what image to put with that?

I am also trying to process all this stuff that's been coming out from Corey Goode regarding the Sphere Being Alliance and continually getting stunned by him verifying all this stuff that I've been thinking (and in some cases putting into stories--I need to write faster so I can get to the final book, otherwise disclosure will have already happened and my stuff will be obsolete) for years. I feel like I can accept it with ease, but at the same time, I'm kind of like damn it, I need this stuff to come out in the open because I cannot live in a world this small. I cannot live among human beings who are blatantly proud of being racist and selfish, where the boundaries of “self” so commonly begins and ends with a single individual.  I cannot live in a heirarchically based business model anymore and yet I have mad bills to pay and no idea how to really advertise without feeling incredibly slimy.

So please, humanity, open your hearts and eyes. Fear not. You are infinite.

And self, it's okay. Do what you can. You are loved, I promise. No matter how utterly alone in your mind you feel.